welcome your new evil overlords
Sep. 28th, 2007 05:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
violaceaSo, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sister_wolf wished me a happy birthday earlier, and told me she'd have gotten me Frank, Patrick, or Spencer if they didn't move so damned fast. I told her I wanted all of them in the same room together ... which then led the conversation down the merry path of crack AUs.
... the conversation begins imagining Frank, Patrick, and Spencer in the same room ...
sister_wolf: Depending on exactly how hyperactive and annoying Frank was being that day, that might well end up with a certain rhythm guitarist being bound, gagged, and stuffed in a closet (and not in a sexy way, either.) Because you just know that Patrick and Spencer working together would be really kind of scary, in an innocent-looking but secretly Machiavellian sort of way.
seimaisin: Dude. Patrick and Spencer could TAKE OVER THE WORLD. All you'd really need to do is add Bob to the mix and they'd probably be unstoppable. (Apparently, drummers are the smart ones. Which is a switch, because I always considered them to be the crazy ones before!) Ray could probably help, too. But, seriously, you'd never see Patrick and Spencer coming until they were your evil overlords.
... Frank, meanwhile, would have to be rescued from the dungeon. Bob might come get him eventually, but only after he's promised to never push the big red button again. For real this time. He means it.
sister_wolf: So now I'm picturing them in a B-movie castle like the one in Young Frankenstein, crossed with Van Helsing. Gerard is totally the mad scientist, with the crazy laugh and the huge lab and the attempts to RAISE THE DEAD, but it's Spencer and Patrick who are actually going to end up taking over the world. They let Gerard run his lab because it makes him happy and keeps him out of their hair. Bob runs all the technical stuff with the lab and constantly bitches at Gerard for blowing out all the electrical circuits again, dammit, I just fixed that, and stop hooking that shit up to the lightning rod, I already told you that overloads the whole system. Frank mostly runs around annoying Bob and occasionally needing to be rescued from dungeons. Mikey is psychic, and sometimes freaks everyone out by channeling ghosts and stuff. Ray is the sane one who takes care of everyone and makes sure that Gerard and Mikey eat something from time to time.
seimaisin: They try very, very hard to not let Frank visit Gerard's lab. Very hard. It does not always work, because occasionally when Ray is talking Mikey down from an episode of channeling some beheaded guy and Bob is asleep for once, he'll sneak and and he and Gerard will start trying to come up with some kind of zombie dog collar (because once they have a zombie army at their disposal, they'll totally need some way to control them, right?), or if they're feeling sympathetic, maybe a potion to help Mikey block some of the worse psychic episodes. Unfortunately, this usually ends up flooding an entire wing of the castle with green smoke that smells like a garbage truck, and this is when Bob wakes up and hauls Frank to the dungeon. He complains that no one ever makes Gerard go to the dungeon, but Gerard occasionally comes up with cool stuff like that invisibility potion - but he's been warned to never, ever give that shit to Brendon again, under threat of death - so they just shake their heads and leave him be.
sister_wolf: The Panic! boys are gypsies who showed up at the castle one day and just never left. Well, technically Ryan is the only one who's really a gypsy; Spencer saved Ryan from a mob when he was a young boy and has been his best friend/protector ever since. Spencer and Ryan traveled from town to town, playing music for their supper, and that's how they met Brendon, the youngest son of a prosperous merchant. Brendon sneaked out of his family home night after night to play music with Spencer and Ryan. His family found out and gave him an ultimatum: stop associating with gypsies or be disowned. Brendon has been traveling with Spencer and Ryan ever since. Jon was a musician traveling with a theatre troupe led by William Beckett; they "borrowed" him from the troupe and then never actually gave him back. Well, they are gypsies, after all.
seimaisin: Ahahahahaha. Brendon and Ryan really want to be part of the evil overlord thing, they do, but they make the most ineffective minions ever. They have the fashion down pat, though, so sometimes when Spencer or Patrick needs to intimidate someone, they'll bring them along to look mysterious and creepy. They're just instructed not to talk. Ever. Sometimes, though, Spencer will let them help plan things. They can come up with something brilliant, if you let them wind through about an hour's worth of nonsensical babble. Jon, meanwhile, is secretly Spencer and Patrick's right hand man. He can't tell Brendon and Ryan, though, because they'd be completely hurt.
The real question in this, though, is what Pete's doing? You know there's chaos, horror and despair somewhere around here with his name written all over it.
sister_wolf: Pete tells people that he's a vampire with a soul. He's very dramatic about it and has this whole spiel about the agony of eternal life and how he's pledged his undeath to hunting down those who turned him into a bloodsucking monster. He dresses in crushed velvet and wears dramatically swoopy cloaks and stuff.
And it is true that Pete was bitten by a supernatural creature and turned into something not entirely human, and yes, he does have sharp pointy fangs. However. He's not a vampire, he's a werecat. But there's nothing tragically romantic about turning into a big fluffy kitty during a full moon, dammit. Everyone who's been around the castle for longer than a month knows the truth, of course, but a few of them still humor him and pretend to believe his "vampire with a soul" bullshit. Most of them mock him mercilessly instead.
Pete thinks his life is very unfair.
seimaisin: Frank asks Pete if he needs to use the litter box every time Pete gets up to leave the room. Joe keeps a bag of catnip in with his weed, and offers it to Pete every time he comes to hang out. Even Brendon and Ryan sometimes make meowing noises when his back is turned, but they've learned well to run very fast afterwards.
Pete tries to sneak away from the castle before the full moon every month, but Patrick's got some sort of irritating radar for him and stops him every time. He won't tell anyone, but it's not so bad to be locked up in the cage for a few days, really. Mikey brings him food and holds normal conversations with him, and Patrick sometimes comes in during the night and sleeps curled up next to him.
sister_wolf: The only permanent inhabitant of the dungeon is a snake-oil salesman by the name of Gabe Saporta. He showed up one day with his lovely assistant Victoria T, claiming to have for sale a potion which could cure any supernatural condition, including lycanthropy. Pete figured that was close enough to... uh, whatever it is that you call the condition of being a were-cat. Anyway, Pete was totally taken in by Gabe's salesmanship, and it was only Patrick's keen hearing and suspicious nature that saved them from having Pete trade the deed to the castle for a crate of snake oil. (Not to mention Spencer's deadly aim with a thrown shoe.)
So they threw Gabe in the dungeon, but he seems perfectly happy down there. Vicky T (who is now Gerard's lovely lab assistant) brings him food and hallucinogenic substances, and Joe likes to hang out with Gabe and smoke opium together. They've pretty much forgotten that Gabe is actually a prisoner and they almost never lock his cell door anymore, but Gabe's a smart guy-- he's got great food, a comfy place to sleep, lots of drugs, and he gets to harass Vicky T on a regular basis... why on earth would he ever want to escape?
seimaisin: Heh. Speaking of shoes, given that Patrick and Spencer are our fearless leaders, you know that the entire north wing of the castle is a shoe closet. Pete's cage (for that time of month, you know) is located at the farthest point of the south wing. They once made the mistake of giving Ryan and Brendon the job of building Pete's cage. They put it in the north wing, and didn't do a very good job with the lock. Pete got loose, got into the shoes, and ... well, Ryan and Brendon still cringe, just a little bit, when they see Spencer exiting the shoe wing. Traumatic memories, you know.
Vicky T has secretly been inducted into the inner ring of smart people who are going to rule the world. Gerard's experiments have gotten mysteriously much more effective since she arrived. She's his good luck charm, he tells Frank smugly.
***
Later, in the car,sister_wolf and I decided that the castle actually belongs to Pete - he's technically Baron Wentz, which is why he was able to nearly give Gabe the castle. Meanwhile, out in the village, Andy once tried to stage a peasant revolt. They surrounded the castle, but Pete decided the appropriate response was to hold a benefit concert for the peasants from the castle ramparts. (They even let Brendon play tambourine. It was very moving.) The peasants were very confused, and ended up just going home. Spencer, Patrick, and Bob held a meeting with Andy, and they all ended up talking drums - somehow, this translated into Andy's permanent residence in the castle, he's not sure how that happened. He's still an anarchist at heart, though, so he occasionally tries to sabotage the evil plans afoot. His success depends largely on whose plan it is. He used to be better at messing up Gerard's lab, until Vicky came along.
Brendon is no longer allowed to be cat!Pete's caretaker, as he nearly lost his arm once after Pete woke up covered in pink bows. Now, Joe's in charge, because no one else wants to do it, and Joe's just too mellow to care.
Dude. We don't know, either. But it's AWESOME.
ETA: zomg, not friends locked! Because if we're on crack, everyone else should enjoy too.
sister_wolf wished me a happy birthday earlier, and told me she'd have gotten me Frank, Patrick, or Spencer if they didn't move so damned fast. I told her I wanted all of them in the same room together ... which then led the conversation down the merry path of crack AUs. ... the conversation begins imagining Frank, Patrick, and Spencer in the same room ...
sister_wolf: Depending on exactly how hyperactive and annoying Frank was being that day, that might well end up with a certain rhythm guitarist being bound, gagged, and stuffed in a closet (and not in a sexy way, either.) Because you just know that Patrick and Spencer working together would be really kind of scary, in an innocent-looking but secretly Machiavellian sort of way.seimaisin: Dude. Patrick and Spencer could TAKE OVER THE WORLD. All you'd really need to do is add Bob to the mix and they'd probably be unstoppable. (Apparently, drummers are the smart ones. Which is a switch, because I always considered them to be the crazy ones before!) Ray could probably help, too. But, seriously, you'd never see Patrick and Spencer coming until they were your evil overlords.... Frank, meanwhile, would have to be rescued from the dungeon. Bob might come get him eventually, but only after he's promised to never push the big red button again. For real this time. He means it.
sister_wolf: So now I'm picturing them in a B-movie castle like the one in Young Frankenstein, crossed with Van Helsing. Gerard is totally the mad scientist, with the crazy laugh and the huge lab and the attempts to RAISE THE DEAD, but it's Spencer and Patrick who are actually going to end up taking over the world. They let Gerard run his lab because it makes him happy and keeps him out of their hair. Bob runs all the technical stuff with the lab and constantly bitches at Gerard for blowing out all the electrical circuits again, dammit, I just fixed that, and stop hooking that shit up to the lightning rod, I already told you that overloads the whole system. Frank mostly runs around annoying Bob and occasionally needing to be rescued from dungeons. Mikey is psychic, and sometimes freaks everyone out by channeling ghosts and stuff. Ray is the sane one who takes care of everyone and makes sure that Gerard and Mikey eat something from time to time.seimaisin: They try very, very hard to not let Frank visit Gerard's lab. Very hard. It does not always work, because occasionally when Ray is talking Mikey down from an episode of channeling some beheaded guy and Bob is asleep for once, he'll sneak and and he and Gerard will start trying to come up with some kind of zombie dog collar (because once they have a zombie army at their disposal, they'll totally need some way to control them, right?), or if they're feeling sympathetic, maybe a potion to help Mikey block some of the worse psychic episodes. Unfortunately, this usually ends up flooding an entire wing of the castle with green smoke that smells like a garbage truck, and this is when Bob wakes up and hauls Frank to the dungeon. He complains that no one ever makes Gerard go to the dungeon, but Gerard occasionally comes up with cool stuff like that invisibility potion - but he's been warned to never, ever give that shit to Brendon again, under threat of death - so they just shake their heads and leave him be.sister_wolf: The Panic! boys are gypsies who showed up at the castle one day and just never left. Well, technically Ryan is the only one who's really a gypsy; Spencer saved Ryan from a mob when he was a young boy and has been his best friend/protector ever since. Spencer and Ryan traveled from town to town, playing music for their supper, and that's how they met Brendon, the youngest son of a prosperous merchant. Brendon sneaked out of his family home night after night to play music with Spencer and Ryan. His family found out and gave him an ultimatum: stop associating with gypsies or be disowned. Brendon has been traveling with Spencer and Ryan ever since. Jon was a musician traveling with a theatre troupe led by William Beckett; they "borrowed" him from the troupe and then never actually gave him back. Well, they are gypsies, after all.seimaisin: Ahahahahaha. Brendon and Ryan really want to be part of the evil overlord thing, they do, but they make the most ineffective minions ever. They have the fashion down pat, though, so sometimes when Spencer or Patrick needs to intimidate someone, they'll bring them along to look mysterious and creepy. They're just instructed not to talk. Ever. Sometimes, though, Spencer will let them help plan things. They can come up with something brilliant, if you let them wind through about an hour's worth of nonsensical babble. Jon, meanwhile, is secretly Spencer and Patrick's right hand man. He can't tell Brendon and Ryan, though, because they'd be completely hurt.The real question in this, though, is what Pete's doing? You know there's chaos, horror and despair somewhere around here with his name written all over it.
sister_wolf: Pete tells people that he's a vampire with a soul. He's very dramatic about it and has this whole spiel about the agony of eternal life and how he's pledged his undeath to hunting down those who turned him into a bloodsucking monster. He dresses in crushed velvet and wears dramatically swoopy cloaks and stuff.And it is true that Pete was bitten by a supernatural creature and turned into something not entirely human, and yes, he does have sharp pointy fangs. However. He's not a vampire, he's a werecat. But there's nothing tragically romantic about turning into a big fluffy kitty during a full moon, dammit. Everyone who's been around the castle for longer than a month knows the truth, of course, but a few of them still humor him and pretend to believe his "vampire with a soul" bullshit. Most of them mock him mercilessly instead.
Pete thinks his life is very unfair.
seimaisin: Frank asks Pete if he needs to use the litter box every time Pete gets up to leave the room. Joe keeps a bag of catnip in with his weed, and offers it to Pete every time he comes to hang out. Even Brendon and Ryan sometimes make meowing noises when his back is turned, but they've learned well to run very fast afterwards.Pete tries to sneak away from the castle before the full moon every month, but Patrick's got some sort of irritating radar for him and stops him every time. He won't tell anyone, but it's not so bad to be locked up in the cage for a few days, really. Mikey brings him food and holds normal conversations with him, and Patrick sometimes comes in during the night and sleeps curled up next to him.
sister_wolf: The only permanent inhabitant of the dungeon is a snake-oil salesman by the name of Gabe Saporta. He showed up one day with his lovely assistant Victoria T, claiming to have for sale a potion which could cure any supernatural condition, including lycanthropy. Pete figured that was close enough to... uh, whatever it is that you call the condition of being a were-cat. Anyway, Pete was totally taken in by Gabe's salesmanship, and it was only Patrick's keen hearing and suspicious nature that saved them from having Pete trade the deed to the castle for a crate of snake oil. (Not to mention Spencer's deadly aim with a thrown shoe.)So they threw Gabe in the dungeon, but he seems perfectly happy down there. Vicky T (who is now Gerard's lovely lab assistant) brings him food and hallucinogenic substances, and Joe likes to hang out with Gabe and smoke opium together. They've pretty much forgotten that Gabe is actually a prisoner and they almost never lock his cell door anymore, but Gabe's a smart guy-- he's got great food, a comfy place to sleep, lots of drugs, and he gets to harass Vicky T on a regular basis... why on earth would he ever want to escape?
seimaisin: Heh. Speaking of shoes, given that Patrick and Spencer are our fearless leaders, you know that the entire north wing of the castle is a shoe closet. Pete's cage (for that time of month, you know) is located at the farthest point of the south wing. They once made the mistake of giving Ryan and Brendon the job of building Pete's cage. They put it in the north wing, and didn't do a very good job with the lock. Pete got loose, got into the shoes, and ... well, Ryan and Brendon still cringe, just a little bit, when they see Spencer exiting the shoe wing. Traumatic memories, you know.Vicky T has secretly been inducted into the inner ring of smart people who are going to rule the world. Gerard's experiments have gotten mysteriously much more effective since she arrived. She's his good luck charm, he tells Frank smugly.
***
Later, in the car,
sister_wolf and I decided that the castle actually belongs to Pete - he's technically Baron Wentz, which is why he was able to nearly give Gabe the castle. Meanwhile, out in the village, Andy once tried to stage a peasant revolt. They surrounded the castle, but Pete decided the appropriate response was to hold a benefit concert for the peasants from the castle ramparts. (They even let Brendon play tambourine. It was very moving.) The peasants were very confused, and ended up just going home. Spencer, Patrick, and Bob held a meeting with Andy, and they all ended up talking drums - somehow, this translated into Andy's permanent residence in the castle, he's not sure how that happened. He's still an anarchist at heart, though, so he occasionally tries to sabotage the evil plans afoot. His success depends largely on whose plan it is. He used to be better at messing up Gerard's lab, until Vicky came along.Brendon is no longer allowed to be cat!Pete's caretaker, as he nearly lost his arm once after Pete woke up covered in pink bows. Now, Joe's in charge, because no one else wants to do it, and Joe's just too mellow to care.
Dude. We don't know, either. But it's AWESOME.
ETA: zomg, not friends locked! Because if we're on crack, everyone else should enjoy too.
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no subject
Date: 2007-09-28 11:27 pm (UTC)At least there's no furries. Well, besides cat!Pete.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-28 11:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-01 12:03 pm (UTC)Trust me, no one wants to have sex with cat!Pete. He smells even worse than he does as a human.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-28 11:32 pm (UTC)The two of you are COMPLETELY CRAZY AND MADE OF TOO MUCH AWESOME FOR WORDS!
That is all.
♥
no subject
Date: 2007-10-01 12:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-28 11:36 pm (UTC)Tell no one.
(Also, hilarious! I was cracking up reading this)
no subject
Date: 2007-10-01 12:04 pm (UTC)Embrace the shame. It's better that way. ;)